Carlos González, pediatrician, on children's behavior: "When they disobey you, they'll do it secretly."

Pediatrician Carlos González , known for his respectful approach to parenting, debunks a common perception among mothers and fathers: the idea that children disobey with the intention of provoking others. Many adults interpret their children's repeated behavior while looking at them and smiling as a defiant gesture . However, González asserts that "they're not mocking; they're trying to connect and ask for guidance."

To illustrate this, he uses an everyday example: when an adult is stopped by a traffic officer, they usually respond with a smile. Why do they do this? "Because you know that being nice may be your only hope of avoiding a fine." The same thing happens with children. By acting in front of the adult, they are trying to show goodwill . It's not a provocation, but a way to diffuse the situation and seek approval.

To truly disobey is to do so without witnesses.

González emphasizes that true disobedience occurs when no one is looking . " When they disobey you, they'll do it secretly , like everyone else, and you won't even notice," she explains. Therefore, if the child repeats the action in front of the adult , it's likely because they aren't clear about the limit. What parents perceive as rebellion is actually often a way of confirming whether they've correctly understood what's being asked of them .

The pediatrician insists on the importance of communicating the rules clearly . A simple "don't paint on the wall" can raise questions: Is it never allowed? Not even with permission? At any time? " When they finally get it, they stop doing it ," he says. For González, the key is for the child to know exactly what is allowed and what isn't. This way, behavior improves without the need to impose fear or punishment .